. . . Durban was on fire all of last week thanks to the Poetry Africa festival taking place in the coastal city. A week of art in which we almost forgot about the protests, and about the death of Fezekile “Fezeka” Kuzwayo happening right outside the theatre doors. But three poets would not let business go on as usual, they came together and performed a poem in honor of Fezeka, known in the media as Khwezi, who was buried in Durban on the same day as the Poetry Africa finale.The poem was written and performed by Maya Wegerif or Maya the Poet who was a family friend of Fezeka, Koleka Putuma, a phenomenal young poet based in Cape Town and renowned Nigerian America poet Bassey Ikpi. They read it to a standing ovation at the BAT theatre.
if you were offered a candy coated
would you take it?
or would you ask for something
made of barbed wire
a poison apple, maybe
a death soaked kiss from a stranger
you who offers nothing
would you pull the wings off another butterfly?
hold an angel by the throat and dare it to scream?
who are you really?
do you know?
if the truth showed it’s face
would you recognize it?
would you lie to keep
it from revealing your secrets?
what of those puzzle pieces hidden in
a chest of drawers behind your bed?
how many hearts?
how many women broken, a river of burgundy
cascading from their throats
Some mothers set their daughters alight to keep their men warm.
And some family members would rather describe the smoke than smell like it.
Last night there was a vigil
A vigil is a time of staying awake during the time usually spent sleeping
Especially to keep watch or to pray
BUT AS FOR GOD
I stopped believing in him the day that devil was sworn in
Hand on the bible saying his vows,
Whole country marrying him openly,
Like he was a stranger.
Like we didn’t know about the wife who left,
About the one who killed herself because of him,
About the one that tried to poison him.
Why did we think we could change him?
How many second chances
how many bodies buried under your
where is the glass crushed against your rib cage
the gust of wind and sand where your heart should be
where is this closet that holds your soul
Why are you
elevated from the destruction you cause
recreating truth to fit your needs
do you hold any regrets?
the truth reveals itself like
like the spark of light before the fire
who will be the next to burn?
and when will it end?
when someone swallows a fistful of pills in your honor?
when there are actual corpses
with your name carved into their wrists?
when the bullet holds only two names?
will you feel it then?
will something then serve as spark to move
your spirit ?
would you even hear it if someone other than you
hurts, aches, dies?
maybe lies help
maybe they serve as balm and lullaby
maybe one day you will find a reason to cry for
someone other than yourself.
until then, who will be next?
Tell me this country was not a battered woman running back to him
Where we could have voted against,
went straight to the ballot box and said we believe him.
If only one woman’s word was enough,
If only dozens didn’t have to be flung to the ends of the earth
And beyond it
If only we didn’t always have to remain here stunned,
saying we knew but did nothing.
If only we stood together before the funerals.
If only we weren’t silent all these years.
Until your death called our bodies and found us on vibrate,
Sometimes [hell] is a penis.
Sometimes [women] repent just to save themselves from encountering the devil.
Sometimes [uncle] is a boyfriend. a test you will keep taking but always fail.
Sometimes [uncle] is a siren in some living rooms.
Sometimes [uncle] is an aircon everyone is too lazy to adjust or switch off.
Sometimes [the daughters] are not left alone with him.
But he is not banned from family gatherings either.
Sometimes [collateral damage] is another way of saying:
I am a coward.
It’s easier to hold the [woman] accountable for a ‘lie’ than it is to hold the [uncle] accountable for the truth.
I went to your funeral today,
You would have loved it
All your pall bearers were women
All of them gathered around you
Women calling out
And still trying to bottle our water
so as not to spill the one next to us
Am I allowed to say that we were a little relieved for you?
All of us secretly envying you
Finally, someone to carry you
Because Nothing in this country makes sense
Mourning the life, celebrating the death
Everything in this country is upside down
Elect the rapist, exile the woman
Everything in this country is the wrong way round
AS FOR YOU
Fezeka, know that you did not fail anyone
In 2006 they said burn the bitch
And they’ll say other things
A country will call a woman a failure
For only withstanding the fire for ten years before finally glowing
Some of us wouldn’t be able to live with just us knowing.
Most of us couldn’t live with the whole country knowing.
And who could live if they hated you for it?
So fuck the ANC women’s league
The city has been crying all week for you.
We have been crying all week for you
But why must it always be our tears falling?
Why must it always be us falling?
Falling in to graves all the time?
Us on our backs all the time?
Too many women are falling without seeing change
Too many panties have fallen without seeing change.
Let the fees fall for a change
Let the men fall in their rage
There will be no more moments of silence
Vusani abo mama, vusani abo dade benu,
a man has broken into the house and is calling himself father
Lock the doors tonight
We’re going to need more than a prayer to send this devil back to hell
Tonight we are starting a month long vigil
A time of saying enough is enough during the time usually spent sleeping.